Because so many of us have not been raised in safe environments, where there is acceptance and support, it helps to be in an environment where we can risk being open and to show up authentically without fear of judgment or rejection. In creating this environment, we help people to take the risk to experience the safety of God’s presence in the midst of their brothers and sisters. This is a good thing and necessary to help us to take steps into our security and strength in God. However, depending on others and our environment to be safe for us is not the ultimate path to maturity and freedom. In fact, it is an exercise in continual frustration and disappointment because no person or situation will always be “safe.”
We need a “Masters and Doctoral level” course on safety. If you really want to experience safety in your life then what you will discover in this higher level course is that safety is actually NOT outside of you, but it is INSIDE of you. We are not truly “safe” when we are depending on outside forces to make us feel safe. People, words or opinions, and situations will be constant triggers if you are dependent on them to make you feel secure. When we yield to externals for our safety we have no anchor and we are buffeted about by every wave and wind around us. We are not centered in who we truly are – secured in Christ – who is our safety.
So, what is this “Masters and Doctoral level on Safety?” In a nutshell, it is your day to day discovery that you actually are safe regardless of what is going on externally. What is the course work?
• Understand that the issue isn’t people being safe or not, it is whether you are centered in your own security – anchored in your identity in God and in His presence.
• Grow in awareness of when you have the expectation that people and circumstances be “safe” for you in order for you to feel safe. Begin the process of letting go of these expectations. You discover that you have these expectations by paying attention to your reactions, thoughts and feelings. This can be unsettling because you have depended on others and now you must discover your own strength and the presence of God within you.
• Let go of the “victim” and “blaming” mentality. Take ownership of your own dependency on externals. Take a look inside of yourself and discover the ways in which you unconsciously abdicate your own inner safety by looking to others to secure you.
• As we let go, we step more fully into a life of faith – trusting in God to secure us.
• This is a process! It takes time to let go of these tendencies and to grow in faith – experiencing more fully the loving, strong presence of God within you.
• It is important to acknowledge that some of us do experience circumstances which are genuinely unsafe (physically/emotionally). Discovering that ultimate safety and security is INSIDE of you will actually empower you and give you clarity to make the appropriate decisions required in such circumstances.
• Journey with others who are further along the path from you who model this inner security.