All is Welcome sounds great.
But, what does it actually mean?
You have the invitation to bring all of who you are – your True Self, your Broken Self, your emotions, and your False Selves. To not hide, but be fully seen and known in your present reality.
All of you is welcome!
Does this mean that you can do and say whatever you want and expect to be met with, “It’s okay. All is welcome”?
No.
“All is welcome” means that we accept you where you are today. There is grace for how you are showing up … AND we have a commitment to grow, heal, and mature in community. Your brokenness is welcome, AND we want healing. Your False Selves are welcome, AND we want awareness and growth. Your emotions are welcome, AND we want to be maturing into people who can name, own, and navigate our emotions in healthy and productive ways instead of unhealthy and reactive ways.
When we “come out sideways,” reacting out of emotion, the emotions are real and “welcome,” AND the invitation is to look at what is stirring within, take ownership and responsibility for our actions, and decide what we want to do about it. There is an invitation to “more.”
There is a statement attributed to preacher, speaker, and author, Leighton Ford:
“God loves us the way we are, but too much to leave us that way.”
To give an example using myself, I am “welcome” (or accepted) where I am, but that does not mean I am carte blanche “affirmed” in how I show up. I may be experiencing shame around not having emailed someone back, so I avoid making eye contact when I see them in person. Or, perhaps I have sadness and anger because I got into a fight with my husband, and I show up short and curt during a meeting. I can bring my shame, sadness, and anger into the safe container, where I can confess my reality, my actions (not sending email; fight with husband), and my emotions, and have all of that be “welcome.”
If I am aware of all that is stirring inside me, I can confess it with the desire of transformation, not affirmation of my actions. The safe container allows me to be seen and known, to expose my humanity. Not to be encouraged to continue being reactive to my emotions.
If I am not aware of what is stirring inside me, I show up avoiding eye contact (due to shame) or curt (due to sadness and anger). While my emotions are “welcome,” my hope is that I would become aware of how I am showing up unhealthily due to my unprocessed emotions. Within this community, that might come from being seen, from a trusted other approaching me with curiosity, or someone clearing with me because of the impact of my actions on them. All of these are edifying acts of love toward me in the safety of community. They may not “feel nice” in the moment, but it is kinder to invite me forward toward maturity than to leave me unaware and therefore unable to mature.
In this ministry, the desire is for us to have the safety to risk showing up authentically, to “get it wrong” at times, possibly even create a rupture, own it, and repair it in the safety of community. It is all welcome, and it is a pathway to healing and maturity.