I have a little dog I like to walk daily, her name is Poppy and she weighs in at about 7lbs. She’s tiny, spunky and consistent in one thing- She barks! Barks at the dogs coming her way, barks at the dogs across the street, barks at the dogs twice her size and the dogs just her size! She barks as they come towards her, turning her head, barking as they pass by her!
I’ve often joked with her and asked “Poppy why do you waste so much of your time turning back and barking…you’re missing out on what’s before you! You’re missing out on the journey of the walk, the sniffing of the flowers, the joy of the sunshine…”
And with one breath, there it was- an invitation to me from a very present and loving Father as I placed judgement on my pup “and how is this like your life?”
Friends, as I sit and breathe, here it is- with some judgement, yes, and so much curiosity. What is it in my life that keeps me looking back? What do I view as a threat – even at a distance? What has me barking from blocks away, preparing for the disappointment that may never come? Where is my head turned? What has made me miss the journey of the walk? The beauty of the steps before me?
Am I living from a place of resentment? Am I grasping for control? What am I in need of?
As I thought a bit more about this I wondered, does my dog trust me? If I am bigger than her, if I provide all that she needs- if my history is provision, comfort, protection and shelter, if I guide her steps and keep her out of harm’s way…why is she so scared? Why does she feel the need to defend herself so fiercely? Does she not trust that I will care for her?
Again, how is this like my life? If I am “leashed” to a loving, attentive and faithful Father who has a history of provision, who has comforted me in pain, provided for me in the desert, who has sheltered me in the storms and protected me even when I strayed. What am I so afraid of? Why do I feel the need to control the outcome? Why do I feel the need to bark at what is coming towards me as though I am unseen, unprotected and alone? Why do I keep barking even as the threat has passed? Why am I not enjoying the journey of the walk- eyes forward, head high, sunlight on my face?
As I sit and type, as I ponder and open myself to the work, a question remains. Am I willing to remain “leashed” to Him when fear and uncertainty arise? Will I let Him lead me- through perceived danger, through the unknown? Can I follow Him without rushing ahead, without barking, without going before Him? Trying to manage and control what was never mine to carry?
Perhaps the invitation isn’t to stop barking altogether but rather to begin looking towards Him, He who holds the leash. To turn my head towards the sun, to focus on the path laid before me, to enjoy the journey and to know and trust I am not alone. I am “leashed” to a loving Father- one who knows every desire of my beating heart and calls me His Beloved.